Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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