this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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