a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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