Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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