a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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