I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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