We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
How does it feel to date your dad?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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