If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
