Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
