Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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