Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
