margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
and you fell through a lawn chair
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
