White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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