If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
