He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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