we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
