How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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