oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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