i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
