I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
