OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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