I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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