am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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