at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
