yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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