and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize