my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
