I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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