is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
