Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
