one two three fourrrrnication!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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