Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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