ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
