Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize