i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
