I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
