I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
