smell my finger.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
