How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I want her autograph on my taint
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
