It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
