seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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