well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
