is your mom at the bar?
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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