you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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