Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
