You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
