I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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