So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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