does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
