You really coming over, don't trick.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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