first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She even gives head with a lisp.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
