i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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