So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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