lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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