im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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