You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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