I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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