You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
