Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
