Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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