the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
