Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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