Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize