i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
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I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
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My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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