There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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