drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
