Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
