you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
