Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
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